Blank Noise Spectators

Reuben and Keenan

2011-11-07T02:11:00.000-08:00

Priyanka: I don't know why people didn't respond. when we were screaming begging for help there were 50-60 people just watching us. Nobody came forward to help us.

Ludhiana

2011-01-04T11:28:00.000-08:00

Language- punjabi
The boys teased her. She slapped him and took off her sandal. A crowd gathered. She asked the guy to drink water from her sandal. She said she wouldn't spare him otherwise.

2009-04-19T12:33:00.000-07:00

Samir Gandhi

Bike AP 09 L 1154
Saturday evening at 0615 PM i was driving thru Prakash nagar, Begumpet area and saw two guy passing on lewd remarks on girls..they were on a Bike AP 09 L 1154. and were trying to drive close to any auto or car having girls and near to girls walking by and hurling lewd comments at them.

I tried calling 100 but there was no response fir the first five minutes. After that they sped of towards somajiguda area. Again at 0630 pm i called back 100 and reported the incident but the operator on the other side was not at all attentive he just listened and said okay and kept the phone... I am still to sure if they are gonna act on my phone call.

We sure do miss a help line sort of thing for eve teasers and lechers. Though i have not travelled much but i always find guys staring at girls who are driving and they drive close them to stare thru the scarf / helmet.

What pained me more was the reaction on the Victims who just went on their way with out even considering to do something. I tried to ask one of them about it and she just ignored me.. and went away..

2009-03-07T23:11:00.000-08:00

Pravin Sharma

Anybody who lives in Mumbai, knows about the locals here. At peak time, the locals are very crowded and the men stick out of the doors, climb on top of the roof...
I attend a Coaching Class which is located in Borivali for which I have to cross the Railway Tracks on foot. (Of Course, its illegal but there is no other way, the common bridge is quarter km away) Many people use the crossing to cross over to Borivali W from the Eastern side and Vice Versa,like me.
Its not that I hadnt heard about eve-teasing, I had assumed it to be a minor thing and never bothered to think too much about it. But all that changed last year. As I was waiting for a packed local to pass, with a few other people, I suddenly noticed several jeering voices, hooting and whistling. They were all coming from the local coming from Virar at 9:30 am.. To be honest, I had not expected such a thing to happen, so I was shocked for a moment. Then I saw the girl beside me hanging her head down in Humiliation and the commuters above (all of them, yes all of them) eyeballing her and whistling. What peturbed me the most was that the eve-teaser was not a single person but the entire train. I had to watch with sadness and helplessness as coach after coach passed and all the people inside each coach started howling. Maybe being in a group gave them some feeling of invincibility. I looked at the others nearby. Clearly they were uncomfortable too, trying to avoid looking at the train as much as possible. After the train passed, everyone including the girl went back to their business. I thought maybe they were used to it now.
I was left alone, feeling insecure,weak and helpless. I spent the entire day brooding over the incident.
Now I had to attend my class every alternate day. Whenever there happened to be a female (age didnt matter) the hootings began if she had to wait for the train to pass.A single guy whistled and the entire train followed him. The jeerings and tauntings were especially high if she was in a western outfit (not necessarily immodest, the kind of clothes you would not mind your sister wearing)
Even women aged 40 + were not spared.
Common phrases used were " Phone me coin Daal" (for someone using a cellphone) and some other unmentionable phrases.

In the evenings the train used to be relatively empty and I did not find the incidents happening . So obivously they felt safe in numbers.
Once I saw a group of girls (age maybe 13-14) become a victim to this. Yet I could only stand and watch as the train drifted away quickly.
Soon, I noticed the females who regularly crossed the tracks would wait at the street, behind a wall for the train to pass before they stepped on the railway tracks.
Now, I have become so used to this that it does not bother me anymore. I know that I am helpless, I cant do anything to stop it. The train wont stop and even if it would there is no way I can tackle 50-60 people on my own.
I just pray that someday, maybe I wouldnt have to wait for the train to pass with some member of my family.....
What I think is that these people are influenced too much by Indian Movies. In movies, usually the actress falls for cheap antics and cheesy dialogues by the actor. Maybe they think what they are doing is right after watching these movies..
So thats it.

2009-03-01T11:20:00.001-08:00

2009-02-27T08:15:00.001-08:00

Jasmeen

Immersing myself in the issue of street sexual harassment has made me calmer or less angry in some ways. I am set on being part of the process of communication rather than immediate reaction. Taking the position of the communicator makes me want to address rather than react.

There is irrational rage, the kind of rage that does not allow someone to see, hear, think, feel. How do you communicate with a very very angry person?

I was walking down Brigade Road, looking forward to a very sinful deathbychocolate at the Cornerhouse and then suddenly I saw a man trip on the road. A scooter hit him. The person on the scooter was a woman, perhaps middle aged, in helmet and sari. She apologized.
He got up and started screaming at her.
I walked to the site- at first wondering if they were a couple and that he had fallen off or whether he was a person crossing the road who had tripped.

She had tears in her eyes.

He was yelling at her in kannada.

" You don't know how to drive. you stupid woman!"

I stood there repeating ,"Stop it. She has said sorry. Please stop it".

...and then before I knew it, he slapped her.

I was looking around and there was no one coming to the site.
I didn't pull his hand back because he could have slapped me.

I was left repeating ," how could you slap her? why did you slap her? she apologized for the accident, you did not have to slap anyone!"

" Will you pay for my injury?"

I don't know of his injury. He was walking as normal.
I turned around , still repeating the same questions, and getting no answers.

I saw a woman on the pavement, fuming with rage , walking upto her husband, screaming,
"why doesn't anyone come to help?!"

I looked at her and asked her why she didnt come to help.
"why were you standing here and watching too?!"

She walked upto that man and screamed
" How dare you? How dare you , you bastard?! you fucking bastard?! how dare you slap a woman?!!"

" How dare you call me a f$!@£!@ b£@$@£$?! you whore?!"

I continued to ask him why he hit her. I asked him to not deviate from the point.
I repeated- "why did you have to slap her?! "
My question was ignored.

The woman's husband pulled her away and yelled at the man who had met with the accident- he was swearing too.

We told him to come with us to the police station for slapping a woman. He said yes but the woman has gone.

A crowd had gathered. finally.

The man disappeared.

Some said- you are just 2 women. Dont get into these things. He will harm you.
Some said- you are right. We also saw this. how dare he misbehave.
Some said- nothing will come of this.

We stood on the pavement asking why no one came to support?

A middle aged man on his bike commented, " Next time there should be more male supporters and the only way we can deal with him is by bashing him up. That's the only 'solution'."

I was warned to not continue walking in the direction that I was. I was going to catch an auto rickshaw home. I walked the other way round, another route, just incase he was hiding, waiting for a prey. I hated having to do that. and I hated not having been able to do more than stare, ask a question that remained unanswered. I am glad that there was a crowd and there was an angry woman but is rage the answer to rage?

2009-02-26T14:49:00.000-08:00

Thupten

If Only

It was just another weekend at a hip club in the ‘party capital’ of India. There, the multi-ethnic young crowd was having a gala time relaxing away from their hectic weekly schedules. Many were seen simply indulging in various forms of alcohol (ala cocktails, shooters, etc etc) while some were busy shaking a leg or two to the groovy hip-hop tunes by the DJ under strobe lights. Alcohol, beautiful people, good ambience, psychedelic lighting and pulsating music thumping from the gargantuan speakers; the night was young and happening. And, I with my posse was having a ball.
In an alcohol induced stupor & loud music, dancing the night away; time simply flew(or at least it seemed so). And, lo, it was almost dawn and the DJ spinned away his last track for the night. Hence, the party came to a gradual end. For starters, I was exhausted after dancing like a demented lunatic (for like 4-6 hours) and to add to that the euphoria-inducing effect(s) of alcohol was fading away, leaving behind a mild yet splitting headache. So, I was resting.

While, I was drowsy and impatiently waited for my friends (who had vanished like Houdini! with their dates I might add); a hushed conversation (in hindi) nearby caught my attention. Phrases like “Abey isse kahan le jana hai?”( where do we take her) and “maza lenge” ( we will have some fun) struck my ears. I turned around, only to see a “firang” girl (most probably of Russian origin) clinging on to this shady-looking guy who looked like the ringleader of this gang of ‘local’ miscreants.
And, it was this very guy who was making these nefarious plans. I was worried. I tried to make eye contact with the girl, possibly to signal her about the imminent danger or atleast give her a cue. But, the girl in her carousal, simply smiled at me; completely oblivious the impending peril. I was frustrated.
So, seeing no other option, I was honor bound to intervene and to prevent this ‘probable’ heinous act from happening. But, seeing their numbers, I decided to ask my friend(s) for backup. I asked the friend who was sitting nearby. But, to my utter dismay, when I explained the dire circumstances; instead of being agitated or worried, he coolly stated:

These guys look like locals and hence could be dangerous
The stupid girl is asking for it clinging onto this shady looking guy.
Not to act like a “hero” unless I wanted to be stabbed/shot at (that too for a stranger)

Appalled by his reaction, I looked around for my other friend(s). But, to no avail as they too responded in a similar, cold, heartless and blunt manner.

I was frustrated with their reactions but ever after berating them for a while, they didn’t show the least interest in my concerns. And, they almost dragged me outside and into the car. I half-heartedly left the club, worried about the girl (not that I had any right to, a coward that I was)
And I left.
Alas.

I have never forgiven myself for leaving that night and leaving that hapless girl to those wretched mongrels. And god knows whatever happened to that girl, I still wonder. I did pray and wished for her safety & and to this day would like to believe that nothing “untoward” happened to her.
But, I am also aware of the fact that this world is not some righteous utopia and India (esp. Delhi is not a safe haven for women in general). And, also there is a very high probability that “the girl” was sexually assaulted that night.
And, even though I was aware of her plight.

I DID NOTHING!!
And, I am to blame.
Sigh. Her smiling face has been etched on my brain and is a grim reminder of my cowardice. Everyday I look at myself, that incident made me realize that I have failed all my ideals, ethics and morals I firmly believed in.
If only, I had intervened.
If only…

2009-02-26T13:17:00.000-08:00

Asavari

Honestly I don't know.. I feel guilty about it.. I was in the car with my dad driving me back home late at night and on the way we crossed a lil shady kinda lane.. It was late at night about 12:30 am.. I saw a young girl walking on the side of the road and some disgusting men in a rickshaw and on bikes hooting at her.. I could see she was uncomfortable and trying to avoid them.. It wasn't a desolated place but that area is not too good, you know what i mean... And our car had the windows up so my dad did not notice it happening but I did.. I don't know what made me not react.. Though I was disturbed but I don't know why I dint tell my dad to stop the car and offer to drop her home.. I often regret this.. Maybe it was some sort of fear in my subconscious mind..

How would you like the public to support?
Help me get the pervet/s arrested.. coz ofcourse it is a crime!

2009-02-26T12:23:00.000-08:00

Abhay

i got near the girl so that if she opposes i can lend support but she just walked off...it was a case of guy on bike passing some comment to a girl.

I could have only supported the girl if she shows some courage....for a complete stranger you dont know if it was a eve teasing also or not.
May be they are lovers.

But girls have to show some resistance so that people around can help out

people should come forward and show symapthy to the girl ..try to let eve teasers know that we are not dumb and deaf

2009-02-25T21:10:00.000-08:00

have you ever seen someone else
experience street sexual harassment?
did you intervene and support the survivor?
did you walk away?
PLEASE SHARE YOUR STORY
OF BEING A SPECTATOR TO STREET
SEXUAL HARASSMENT OR 'EVE TEASING'
BY FILLING THE FORM HERE.

THIS BLOG WILL BE UPDATED EVERY WEEKEND.
THANK YOU- YOURS TRULY- BLANK NOISE TEAM

via meghana naidu on the bn bangalore mailing list:

2009-02-24T18:32:00.000-08:00

Saugata Chatterjee

A few of my friends and I were just paying our bills and coming out of
our regular Friday night watering hole and dinner place in Rest House
Road, just off Brigade Road, and most of the women in the company were
already standing outside. Some of us outside were smoking, people were
happy, there was laughter and jokes, as there were many other people
in the street, all coming out, satiated, in the closing hour of the
various pubs and restaurants around.

Suddenly from up the street a massive SUV comes revving and speeding,
hurtling down, and stops in a scream of brakes and swirling dust,
millimeters away from this group of 4 women, barely missing one of
their legs. A white Audi, imported, still under transfer, with the
registration plate of KA-51 TR-2767. Some millionaire's toy thing,
that in the wrong hands can kill.

Naturally the women are in shock. And quickly following the shock
comes indignation. These are self made women running their own
businesses, managing state responsibilities for global NGO firms,
successful doctors. They are not used to being bullied. So they turn
around, instead of shrinking back in fear. They protest.

And as soon as they turn around in protest, the car doors are flung
open, and a stream of 4-5 rabid men run out towards these women,
screaming obscenities in Hindi and Kannada against women in general,
fists flailing. Some of us who came in running at the sound of the
screaming brakes now stand in the middle in defense of our women, and
then blows start raining down. One of the goons make a couple of calls
over the cellphone, and in seconds a stream of other equally rabid
goondas land up. They gun straight for the women, and everyone – a few
well-meaning bystanders, acquaintances who know us from the
restaurant, basically everyone who tries to help the women – starts
getting thoroughly beaten up.

Women are kicked in the groin, punched in the stomach, slapped across
the face, grabbed everywhere, abused constantly. Men are smashed up
professionally, blows aimed at livers, groins, kidneys and nose. A
friend is hit repeatedly on the head by a stone until he passes out in
a flood of blood.

A plain-clothes policeman (Vittal Kumar) who saunters in late stands
by watching and urging people to stop, but doing absolutely nothing
else. A 'cheetah' biker cop comes in, with our women pleading him to
stop this madness, but he refuses action, saying a police van will
come in soon and he cannot do anything. Everyone keeps getting
hammered. Relentlessly.

The carnage continues for over 20 minutes.

Finally when the police van does come in it is this vandals who are
raging and ranting, claiming to be true "sons of the Kannadiga soil",
and we are positioned to be the villainous outsiders, bleeding,
outraged. How do the cops believe them, especially seeing the bloody
faces of our men and the violated rage of our women, while they carry
nary a scratch on their bodies? Don't ask me! Yet, it is us who these
goondas urge the newly arrived law-keepers to arrest, and the police
promptly comply, and we are bundled into the van, some still being
beaten as we are pushed in. Some blessed relief from pain inside the
police van at least, even if we are inside and the real goons outside,
driving alongside in their spanking white Audi. The guy who was hit by
the stone is taken separately by the women to Mallya hospital.

Inside the police station at Cubbon Park it becomes clear that these
goons and the police know each other by their first names. The
policeman in charge (Thimmappa) initially refuses to even register any
complaint from me, on the purported grounds that I am not fluent in
Kannada and I have taken a few drinks (3 Kingfisher pints, to be
precise) over the evening. No, it doesn't matter that I didn't have my
car and was not driving, and no, it doesn't mater that the complaint
will be written in English. We watch them and the goons exchange
smiles and nods with our our bloodied and swelling eyes and realize in
our pain-clouded still-in-shock brains the extent of truth in the
claim of one of the main goons when he claimed earlier in the evening
in virulent aggression: we own this town, this car belongs to an MLA,
we will see how you return to this street!!

This was the turning point of the saga, I guess. For we refused to lie
down quietly and be victims.

One of our girls, a vintage and proud Bangalorean who is running one
of the town's most successful organic farming initiatives, took upon
herself to write the complaint, when I was not allowed to write the
same. Another Bangalore girl, a state director of a global NGO firm,
wrote the other molestation complaint separately on behalf of all the
girls. Some of us called our friends in the media and corporate world.
Everyone stepped up. And even when the odds were down and we were out,
we did not give up, and as a singular body of violated citizens we
spoke in one voice of courage and indomitable spirit. That voice had
no limitation of language, not Kannada, nor English, or Hindi. It was
the voice of human spirit that cannot be broken.

And in the face of that spirit, for the first time, we saw the ugly
visage of vandalism, hiding behind the thin and inadequate veil of
political corrupt power, narrow-vision regionalism and self-serving
morality, start to wilt.

We spent 6 hours next day in the police station. The sub-inspector of
police who filed our FIR, Ajay R M, seemed a breath of fresh air
inasmuch that he did not appear a-priori biased like others, even
though the hand of corruption and politico-criminal power backing
these goons was still manifest in many ways: a starched, white-linen
power-broker walked in handing over his card to the sub-inspector in
support of the goons; the goons got an audience with the Inspector
because of this intervention, while we had to interact one level lower
down in the hierarchy; the plains cloth policeman of last night, even
though he had arrived far too late in the crime scene, gave a warped
statement, passing it off as a "neutral" point of view, repeatedly
stressing that we came out of a pub and hence were drinking,
positioning this as a 'drunken brawl', while completely forgetting to
mention the unprovoked attack against the women and the one-sided
vandalism and violence that ensued. I guess one cannot blame the low
ranked police officer – the criminal connections of these goons must
be pervasive enough for him to be careful.

Thanks however to the impartial handling of the situation by Ajay,
soon the goons were all identified. The lead actor was one Ravi
Mallaya (38), a real estate honcho and owner of a small property off
Brigade Road which he has converted into a "gaming" (you know what
that means, don't you?) adda. The others identified are Mohan Basava
(22) of Chamarajapet 12th Cross, R. Vijay Kumar Ramalingaraju (25) and
Shivu Rajashekar (20). All are residents of 12th & 13th Cross in
Vyalikaval. Their bravado and machismo were by that time evaporated.
It was good to see their faces then.

Of course nothing much happened to them, nor did we expect it. They
were supposed to be in lock up for at least the weekend till they were
produced in court, but we understand that they were quickly released
on (anticipatory?) bail. The car, purportedly belonging to an MLA,
also does not figure in the FIR, apparently for reasons of
"irrelevance to the case".The media also have given us fantastic
coverage and support so far, strengthening the cause.

The goons meanwhile, as an after thought, also filed the customary
reverse complaint on the morning after we filed our own complaint: the
women have apparently scratched the car! (Why did they not file the
complaint the same night, considering they came to the Police Station
in the same car? Why was the car allowed to be taken off police
custody? Why is the car still irrelevant to the case and not in the
FIR? Questions.. questions..).

Is this the end of this saga? Probably not. Are these women, more
precious to us as friends and wives than most things in our lives,
safe to walk or drive down Brigade Road from now on or are the goonda
elements, slighted by this arrest and disgrace, are lying in ambush,
waiting, biding their time to cause some of us more grievous harm? We
don't know. Is there reason for us to remain apprehensive of future
attacks and victimization? Perhaps.

But here is the point.

We stood up.

We believed in the power of individual citizens even in the face of
hooliganism, intolerance, corruption and power mongering. Even though
many of us have the option of leveraging political or government
connections, we deliberately chose to fight this battle as
individuals. Sure, these connections have been activated and they have
been kept informed, should the worst case scenario unfold tomorrow.
But we have chosen to not leverage them. And in every small win we
register as a group of individual outraged citizens of Bangalore and
India, however insignificant these milestones may be in the larger
scheme of things, there is one small notch adding up in favor of what
is right, one small notch against what is wrong. And we believe that
every such small notch counts, each such mark is absolutely
invaluable.

It is the people who make this city, this country, this world. It is
you and I, as much as the terrorists inside and outside. And in our
small insignificant little ways, it is my responsibility and yours to
not shirk from investing effort – not just lip service or any token
attempt, but real effort – in backing up what we ourselves believe in.
It is so easy to logically argue that everything is corrupt, nothing
is worth it, there are so many risks involved. We must not fall trap
to this escapist trend. We must not fail to try.

Next time you feel outraged, violated, abused, don't let it go by and
add up to your list of litanies and complaints. Stand up and take it
to the limit - at least your own limit. Not in the same way as they
wrong you, but in the way that every citizen, at least in theory, is
entitled to complain and protest. Do not let the hooligans power rant
scare you or prompt you into submission. Do not allow the corrupt cop
make you give up trying. Carry the flame forward. Try harder.

If are up to it, start right now.

Forward this note to everyone you want to be made aware of this. Post
it in your own blogs. Talk about it amongst your circles. And if
anyone of you should like to step forward with a word of empathy or
advise, talk to me. Comment.

It is not Bangalore that is going to the dogs. It is us. We have far
too long become accustomed to let everything go. And the more we let
things go without any protest or fight, the dormant criminal and dark
elements of the society get that much more encouraged. Every time we
turn the other way, the hooligan next street gets incentivized to push
the boundary a little further, provoke a little more, try something a
little more atrocious. It is time for us to refuse to let this go on.
We are responsible for making ourselves proud. Lets believe in
ourselves. We can do this.

My name is Saugata Chatterjee. And I am standing up.I refuse to let
Bangalore go to the hooligan slumdogs, even if some of them are pets
of corrupt power millionaires.

2009-02-19T23:49:00.000-08:00

Justy

i have seen a woman being whisteled on, but ignored because i did not know i could do something to the guy whistling. what's more, i might fall into trouble if i helped say shout at the guy or so.

i never made a scene.

i have experienced street sexual harassment a lot. no one have ever helped me.
i would like to see the public supporting me by shouting at the perpetrator. especially in cases of comments and whistiling. at least those are the ones i really get to experience.

2008-11-02T13:53:00.001-08:00

Megha Bhagat

I have witnessed street sexual harassment.
I got involved.

I was with a friend walking on the road just chatting with her and actually not observing things around me. Then as we went and stood on the bus stop waiting for the bus i see this guy trying to get all close and funny with a girl waiting there for her bus. She must be a little younger to me and i saw the change in her getting uncomfortable and she tried moving away. the guy who looked maybe a few years elder to me moved in alignment with her and tried getting up and close. She didnt look like she would say something and i by that time moved closer to them and spoke at the top of my voice , "dont u see there is no place here, move away from here, its congested". everyone around us had started to stare and after giving me a glaring look he walked away from the stop.

Have you ever experienced street sexual harassment or 'eve teasing' and been supported by the public? Did they help? or show support? if yes, in what way?

yes i have been eve teased loads of time. whether its whistling, passing comments, and loads of other forms. But not even once have i had any support.

I have always raised my voice and spoken to the guy but all that people do is give a stare.
Feels pretty redundant but not useless.

How would you like the public to show support when you experience street sexual harassment?
If nothing else the people around me can come and ask on what happened and give him a piece of their mind.

2008-10-12T07:30:00.000-07:00

Shruti

i have experienced eve teasing or physical touchings,but they just passed by so quickly that i couldn't react to them.And i have'nt made any such situations very public because of this.

i would like them to stand with me and support me.i want them to call up police or let the public themselves handle such cheap men.i also want the women to support women.they always let the other ladies down in such situation ,by being a spectator to the whole incident or giving them dirty looks.

2008-10-12T06:51:00.000-07:00

Maithili Desai

What made you react in the way that you did?

I had encountered sexual harassment myself, when I was new in the city. I remember the feeling of disgust that had filled me. I don't want any other human being to feel the way I did and find themselves alone in the situation.

I was returning home from college at around 7.30 in the evening by the Borivali fast train. Since I had male friends with me, I was in the general compartment. At Andheri station, a girl my age got into the train. There was a man behind her who was touching her and she was visibly uncomfortable. After a moment or so, I asked the man what his problem was, couldn't he keep his hands to himself? he went into the defensive and started ranting about how people point fingers without proof etc. one of my friends too got involved and warned the man to behave himself. the others in the compartment too supported us once we raised our voices and the fellow had to apologise. We then asked the girl to stand with us for the rest of the journey.

Have you ever experienced street sexual harassment or 'eve teasing' and been supported by the public? Did they help? or show support? if yes, in what way?

Yes, I did experience sexual harassment once. I came to Mumbai for my education almost a year and a half ago. It was during one of my first bus rides in town that I was harassed by a fellow passenger. I didn't know what to do and was deeply embarrassed. a fellow passenger noticed my discomfort and asked me to move in front of her in the aisle and stood between me and that man. I couldn't have thanked her enough!

Have you ever experienced street sexual harassment and made a scene and not have the public support you?

Not really. But I'm sure that if the situation arises, I am confident that anywhere in the city, if I raise my voice, I will get help.

How would you like the public to support you?

The best support would be to encourage police proceeding. That will be the best way to stop this nuisance.

2008-10-04T15:34:00.000-07:00

What bothers me is the apathy and sheer ignorance that people around exhibit. I'm from Lucknow and was traveling in a Tata Sumo once, which is what used to be one of the forms of public transport here a few years back. (The year this happened being 2005). Anyone who has ever traveled in the back seat of a Tata Sumo knows how cramped and nauseating that can be. To compound the misery, the Sumo driver used to take six people on the two bench-like seats at the back to earn more so you have no choice but to sit squashed inside like a pack of sardines. I was going to my Grandmother's house and was compelled to take the Sumo owing to my bike being given for repairs.

A girl got on from the Railway Station. She must've been a few years younger than me, had a suitcase with her and I assumed she was returning from some college somewhere. She sat on the side opposite mine since mine was already occupied with a middle-aged woman and an elderly man. There was already a middle-aged man sitting there (I'll call him MAPOS - middle-aged piece of shit). After she got in, another man got in after her and she was sandwiched between the two.
Sarika

The MAPOS kept sitting there very coolly with his arms crossed. After a while I noticed that the girl was looking very uncomfortable. And I realized that this guy was fondling her breasts with a very disgustingly constipated look on his face. He obviously assumed that he was hiding the fact really well.

When he just didn't stop, I asked the man on my side of the seat to go sit there and asked the girl to come sit next to me. She was relieved, obviously. And the MAPOS gave me a dirty look like I'd just slapped him. I then had to get down because my stop had come and this guy got down as well.

After all this, he had the gall to ask me what my problem was. I wanted to scream my lungs out at him. I just asked him to mind his hands, left him babbling to himself, paid my fare and left.

Location: Lucknow, in a public transport vehicle

2008-09-28T15:40:00.000-07:00

Sri

I was very young then. It was my birth day. Both my mom and dad went to Necklace road in Hyderabad. Dad had some work and left. So it was me and my mom at around 9 pm happily chatting away with cool breeze. Then some guy comes and asked," How much?", to my mom. My mom shouted at him and grabbed me to her saying that I was her son and my dad will come there soon. I was so scared then. Now I feel guilty for not doing any thing.

2008-09-28T15:29:00.000-07:00

Vivek

I ignored.

They were big hefty guys, so I wouldn't have got into a vocal confrontation, unless it got really bad.

2008-08-31T09:54:00.000-07:00

Sabah Ahsan Malik

A girl was ogled and hooted at by boys almost every day at a tuition centre to which I used to go in O levels. Surprisingly other females present there laughed at her. What I found outrageous was the indifference of the females towards her. I didn't do much but I made sure I passed a disapproving look at the male perpetrators. It worked. They stopped passing vulgar comments a loud. I asked the other females to not laugh at her but to show her support.

Have you ever experienced street sexual harassment or 'eve teasing' and been supported by the public? Did they help? or show support? if yes, in what way?

I was walking with a friend to the French Center which is at a distance from the University where we study. I was walking behind my friend. Two boys riding a motor bike hooted loudly, whistled and then said something which was inaudible to me in all the traffic din. The motor bike rushed past me. I stopped. I was out of breath because of the sheer closeness of the vehicle that went by me and was relieved I did not get hit. I was not supported by the public. My friend assured me to not to feel scared and keep walking.

How would you like public to show support?
When I experience street sexual harassment I would like someone from the public to offer company and comforting words. To remind me that the fault is of the perpetrator. If the perpetrator is told of what he just did and how wrong it was, that would be great!

2008-08-29T18:20:00.000-07:00

Myna

I had just hopped onto a bus and ofcourse it was crowded. I tried to reach out for the women's section hoping to find a woman's seat...something I am not a fan of but I realize it's value- in terms of encouraging women to access public transport. I suppose it is regressive- but never the less, I depend on it.

The entire women's section was taken over by men who didnt offer the seat even though they saw a mass of women waiting to sit.

I was tired. It had been a long day..wasnt sure how to get a seat without causing trouble or making a scene. I asked the women around me why men filled up the women's seats. Some smiled and looked away. Some said 'they wont listen, they are like this only'. Eventually after many attempts at getting the local women in the bus to get 'our' seat and failing I went up to a man and asked for the seat. He refused. I stood there , looking at him until he got up. I dont quite fit in , culturally , visually - people see me as alien. I have been asked if Im kashmiri. french or even iranian despite my poor steady attempts at speaking the local language.

Back to the man and the seat and us women:
I continued to look at him and repeatedly ask for the seat. Other women looked on. Ofcourse I was making a scene for 'no apparent reason' as some might interpret...but he finally got up.
I would be considered more of an outsider if I grabbed the seat he vacated, and so instead I asked the local women of the region to sit there. Seeing the scene another man left the women's seat and I finally got my place. It was a strategic move...and as a result I ended up making polite peaceful conversations on my way back home.

Blank Noise Spectators Special

2008-08-29T18:09:00.000-07:00

We don't know his name but we met him in Calcutta while shooting for a Blank Noise video project in June 2008.

More video based interviews and statements can be found here, and here

2008-08-29T18:07:00.000-07:00

Suparna Kudesia

Was sitting in an auto when the driver suddenly braked behind these two girls walking in a side alley. The girls were obviously startled and taken aback and the driver thoroughly amused by what he had done. He chuckled and stared at them as he rode away. After a few seconds of processing what had happened, I asked him to stop the auto and pull-over. When he did, I asked him why he did what he did. He was clearly suprised and not pleasantly at all when he responded, "Now what did I do?" I repeated my question asking him not what but why he did what he did. When he mumbled and bumbled for a bit I essentially decided it was pointless to beat about the bramble and tell him exactly what he did and what I thought of it. I wasn't yelling and was surprisingly composed. I was however, angry. He then responded with exasperation and asked what it would take for me to shut up. I was too mad to even respond to him, so I threw the fare at him and walked out saying my last few angry words.

How would you like the public to react?
I would like the public to first help create a space where one doesn't have to feel vulnerable and unsafe. I would then like people to understand that it is completely unacceptable to be violated sexually, physically, and emotionally. If they ever hear someone muster the courage to confront a perpetrator, they must verbally and physically communicate that they believe said survivor. Then there must be a sense of individual responsibility to confront the perpetrator even if you are not the one being harassed.

2008-08-29T18:06:00.000-07:00

Nalini

I called the police.

My group of friends and I have always felt that we were the very few lot of our generation who were feminists, but not in a cliched way. We believed that we had to do what we could since there were lots who were unable to speak about harassment that they underwent and in a way owed it to us and them. We were those fortunate ones who had support of family , friends and were brave enough to go to a police station to give a complaint.
I am talking about Bangalore, a good 15-20 years back.

2008-08-29T18:03:00.000-07:00

Kavitha Rajaram Mookerjee

This incident occurred on one of the Delhi's infamous DTC buses that I travelled regularly on to my campus everyday about a couple of years back..I saw a girl getting into the bus and a guy following her into the bus.He tried to touch her,brush against her in every manner possible..but somehow couldn't.After witnessing his 'discomfort' I decided to intervene and offered the girl the seat next to me..obviously, the guy was peeved and kept giving us angry glances..but couldn;t do much!!

Have you ever experienced street sexual harassment or 'eve teasing' and been supported by the public? Did they help? or show support? if yes, in what way?

Sexual harrasment was an everyday affair as student regularly travelling via 'DTC buses'..one fine day while returning home from the campus I got into one of these extremely crowded buses..call it my folly..never repeated that again!!I got up to get down at my stop and I felt someone groping me and rubbing against me in the crowd..somehow the whole resentment and pent up anger at being subjected to such humiliation somehow got a vent!!I caught the person's hand through the crowd and refused to doggedly let go of it..no matter what!!I HAD to bring out the face from the crowd..LO BEHOLD!!It turned out to be a 50-55 year old man..who instatnly refrred to me as his 'beti'!!That day was a breakthrough...I dragged the guy out of the bus and slapped him repeatedly till he somehow ran off!!No one from the crowd of spectators came to help or support in any form!!I think it was something akin to rage, but after that day ..I fought..I haven't ever been supported on the street EVER as of now..but its my personal battle and if we don't fight for our dignity, I have realised that noone else will!!

How would you like public to support?
Help, verbal support at least!!

2008-08-29T18:00:00.000-07:00

Jayashree

I don't think I've ever really seen anyone being sexually harrassed. I don't include things like cat-calls, staring and so on in this definition since it's too [frighteningly] common on the streets. To the point where I haven't done anything about it at all.

Have you ever experienced street sexual harassment or 'eve teasing' and been supported by the public? Did they help? or show support? if yes, in what way?

I have experienced harrassment but nobody ever really came forward to do anything about it. People just sort of walked past as if nothing had even happened in the same vicinity as them.

Have you ever experienced street sexual harassment and made a scene and not have the public support you?

Yes. A man on the street was walking towards me and he reached out and touched me. I called out violently and tried to swing at him, while gesturing to the people around me, expecting some sort of reaction. However, people chose to walk past me anyway. It was sad but not shocking or unexpected {their reaction).

How would you like the public to react?

An outcry. Like in the movies, people gathering around, being responsive and reactive. No matter how 'trivial' the incident, I would like some sort of anger or outlash against the perpetrator, just so that he knows that it ISN'T trivial.

But I don't see this happening very quickly.I myself don't have that mindset. Or at least I don't know yet whether I do.

2008-08-29T17:57:00.000-07:00

Amit Kendurkar

Chair car of Shatabdi Express, I had a Window seat while a girl in my row had a Isle seat. Another passenger kept coming to our row to speak to his acquaintance every few minutes. While he was talking to his acquaintance he was almost leaning on the girls seat, occasionally brushing against her while he spoke in an animated way. I could see the discomfort on the girls face, though she never uttered a word.

I thought about intervening, but was not sure of the reaction I would get from the girl! After watching this happening for a while, I requested the girl if she would be willing to swap seats with me. She immediately accepted the offer, and this guy did not show up again once he found me sitting in the isle seat.

2008-08-29T17:55:00.000-07:00

Neeru Malhotra

Once in a bus, a very old man, around 60 was sitting besides me and he kept on pushing his elbow into me, so by the end of 10minutes I was almost off the seat.. sitting just on the edge. Generally in situations like this I do respond but in this case I was concerned that I don't know how people will respond if I accuse such an old man. These two women sitting on the back seat (they were around 45 year old and looked like village women)told the man "ladki kuch bol nahi rahi to tu kuch bhi karta rahega" (the girl is not saying anything that does not mean you keep doing anything you want). I was embarrassed and did not have the courage to thank both the women as I felt that I should have spokn out in the first place.

Have you ever experienced street sexual harassment and made a scene and not have the public support you?

Yes, there have been times when I have been sexually harassed in a bus, and a bus generally has around 60-70 people but nobody ever responded. I feel really frustrated at such times, and one time I even rebuked the whole bus shouting at the top of my voice on all the people in the bus for not responding.

How would you like the public to show support when you experience street sexual harassment?

I do not expect the public to come up in huge numbers and fight off the guilty, but atleast coming up and asking that what the issue is. Nobody in today's world is expected to get into somebody else's mess but they should also realize that even a little support from atleast one person gives more strength.

2008-08-29T17:53:00.000-07:00

Hashim Badani

Three motorbikes whizzed passed a lady as one of them try to feel her up. They were six of them and dissapeared before there was a chance to react. None the less being a bystander and not doing anything about it makes you feel guilty and a bit sick.

How would you like the public to react?
Be supportive and bring the guilty to books even if it meant a bi of a trashing. Anything to stand up for acts ike these not going unnoticed.

2008-08-29T17:52:00.000-07:00

Reva Prakash

My earlier experinces where I was too scared to do anything made me realize that if somebody was with me it would give me more courage to speak out.

I was not only a spectator here but a survivor too. While on our evening walk in a park outside our PG in National Park we heard a man some yards away addressing us from across the fence of the park. At first I was unable to understand what he was saying, I realized that my friend was really scared. I asked what the man was saying. Too scared to react, she just asked me to keep walking. I stopped to hear what he was saying.I felt harasses, offended and also enraged. I shouted back standing in the middle of the park at the man and was amazed to see that he turned back and started to run.Iran back and hurled choicest abuses. My friend in the meanwhile just stood dumbstruck. Other walkers just turned to look at what t was happening and kept walking.Some gave me a sharp look for I looked like a crazy women who was shouting at a total stranger.Not one person stopped to ask what had just happened.

Have you ever experienced street sexual harassment or 'eve teasing' and been supported by the public? Did they help? or show support? if yes, in what way?

No, except when I was with my friends who supported me.My friends went back with me to locate the guy who had asked me to help him masturbate in broad day light on a deserted road. Shocked, I had told him to go to hell and shut up.

2008-08-29T17:48:00.000-07:00

Sneha Banerjee

It once happened in a DTC bus, when a girl asked a man to vacate the ladies seat, though the man did so he stood right beside her and kept poking her armpit with his penis... it was really discreet and could easily pass as jerk in the bus... I was in the seat right behind the girl... the girl asked him to go and stand elsewhere to which he said "have you bought this bus?...you want me to get up from the seat and also should I stand anywhere with your permission?" I intervened and supported the girl and created a big hue and cry... got into a verbal duel... finally the man had to move away from there and he got down soon after.

Have you ever experienced street sexual harassment or 'eve teasing' and been supported by the public? Did they help? or show support? if yes, in what way?

Numerous instances....it has unfortunately become "normal" on Delhi streets... however I continue to answer back to lewd comments or stare back at lewd stares, etc etc...mostly people do not come forward to help... whenever I have recieved support it has been from women either my mother's age or my own..

How would you like the public to support you?
Support in humiliating the perpetrator and reprimand him in a suitable way.

2008-08-29T17:46:00.000-07:00

Ashish

I was traveling with my wife on a local bus. it was crowded and there were women hanging on the hand bar on the ceiling of the bus. one man next to us was sporting a fancy cell phone. i noticed that he was clicking pictures of a girl next to him, who, due to rush, was unable to cover her modesty.

we discussed in hush-hush at first. then we confronted the man. we also pointed out the scene to the girl/woman involved. she was not interested in pursuing the man. we however were loud and demanded him to remove photos from the phone. at first he was very aggressive, but soon claimed to have removed all photos. he got nervous and got down from the bus.

2008-08-29T08:24:00.000-07:00

Sue

Have you ever seen a complete stranger experience street sexual harassment?

She handled it before I could help out and didn't seem to want help. Got down from the bus soon afterwards, I think.

What made you react in the way that you did? ( Please give an account of what occurred.)

I watched and waited to see if she would speak out. Because there is no point trying to make trouble when the person being molested chooses to ignore it. She did speak out and complained loudly and got the man kicked out of the bus and got down soon afterwards. I watched the whole thing. Got over very fast, once she started making a fuss.

I think a lot of people knew what was going on and they were waiting to see what she was going to do about it.

Have you ever experienced street sexual harassment or 'eve teasing' and been supported by the public? Did they help? or show support? if yes, in what way?

I have been supported by the friends I was travelling with. I have been helped by strangers also, in very unobtrusive ways. I remember when I was nineteen and had got very wet in the rain. I needed to take the bus back home. I was wearing a very thin cotton top and had only a small bag to hold in front of me, so I tried to stay hunched but I could also see that many of the men in the bus were staring at me. The girl on my left was travelling with a young man (I think they were both in their early twenties). The guy was standing in front of her and she must have said something because he suddenly moved very slightly and I found him standing in front of me, blocking the view. He himself looked straight ahead at the horizon for the rest of the journey. Luckily, I reached my destination before they did. I've always (mentally) thanked him for his resourcefulness.

I've had people stare at me. I've had one or two unknown girls support me while a crowd looked on.

It's a horrible feeling, almost like you're being judged, because it was YOU who did something wrong.

How would you like public to react?

I would like vociferous support and I would like people to state clearly that such behaviour is not acceptable. I would like the molester to be publicly embarrassed. I don't need him to be taken to a police station -- so far I've not had to face situations that have needed such extreme measures, thank god -- but I would like him to know that women/girls travelling on their own are not helpless and unsupported.

2008-08-25T13:54:00.000-07:00

Serena

I was in a huge, crowded bus stand, the rain and the weekend crowd creating havoc inside.
There was no sight of the bus i had to take, even hours after its intended departure time.
I had become crowd-paranoid afrer the previous incident, and I found a relatively safe niche near the exit of the bus stand where i could stand and wait for my bus.
In front of me was a continuously moving crowd, and in that, I spotted a man touching a girl.What I noticed more was that she was trying to shrug off his grip, she was clearly discomfited but unwilling to confront. The guy had thought that he would get away with it.
The next moment, a slap landed on the man’s arm. From me.
And then there were the stares. The girl’s look of thanks. The man’s chagrined stare, as he slunk away. The onlooker’s surprised stare... wondering why I would beat that guy.
And an utterly shocked, dazed stare. From me. How did I have the nerve to do this, yet again, in a place infested with men??? Did i ever think before I acted?
Another girl standing next to me asked me what had happened, but i couldn’t even bring myself to reply. I didn’t want to be noticed any more, so I slowly moved away from that place, and stood somewhere else.
Yes, just like the guy had done.
On a subconscious level i guess i am proud of what i did, and that feeling will prbly prompt me to hit again at any one who does it in front of me.
But rational thought leaves me cursing myself for my impulsiveness.
I must admit that I had subscribed to blank noise some time back.
I had unsubscribed later.
After a broken engagement, where I was blamed to be too much of a feminist for my own good.
Where I was told that I have too much temper for a girl, and all such.
This is just my two cents. I didn’t want anything to do with blank noise. I think it is pointless talking about eve teasing. Prudent girls would rather stay away from the spotlight.
And carry a safety pin in buses.
I do think that visiting this site primes me to be more antagonistic to guys, which doesn’t help.
I’d rather hone my street skills, and carry a safety pin.
And get married to a guy.

2008-08-25T13:52:00.000-07:00

Madeline Haas

I experienced street sexual harassment in Jaipur at night, but nobody else saw.

No, I did not make a scene except to complain to my family (we're Americans and were on vacation), but they were not very sympathetic.

How would you like the public to react?
Sympathy, an effort to catch and reprimand the person who harassed me.

2008-08-24T08:13:00.000-07:00

2008-08-24T08:10:00.000-07:00

Nithin M

checked to see if she/they could handle it herself/themselves.

What made you react?

heuristics.

2008-08-24T08:08:00.000-07:00

Shailey Goyal

I am not sure.
I called the police.
First I thought of ignoring the incident but then the Police guy saw and he got nice beatings.

How would you like the public to react?
No why u wanna to involve the public into this..............

2008-08-24T08:05:00.000-07:00

Dhruva Ghosh

I supported the victim passively because I have seen that victims react acidly or indifferently to active help, and this usually tends to encourage the perpetrator/s further. Passive help or support seems to be a good initial option in a situation where the victim is unknown. Further actions can be decided based on the initial reaction by the victim and/or the perpetrator.

This has happened a few times. While 'experiencing' is limited to 'being a third person in the situation',in the I have made apparent my displeasure when I spotted men rubbing up against women and/or feeling them up. While that harldy counts as 'making a scene', the reaction/s were generally not too positive, including those of the victim. In some cases I found myself glared down by the victim. If I were to make jest of this, I would have suggested that they were enjoying it. Maybe silence is socially conditioned, to the point of being actively enforced. Surprisingly, some members of the public showed varying degrees of (mostly passive) support from time to time.

I felt like an bleeding-heart idiot, mostly.

How would you like the public to react?
Just a vote of active disapproval towards the perpetrator, and a vote of encouragement towards the victims who speaks up would be a good start.

2008-08-24T08:04:00.000-07:00

Kismet

I have mostly stood up for myself. The public isn't very helpful. Sometimes, even friends (men/boys) choose to look the other way.

People shouldn't get away with doing this kind of nonsense.
A guy on a cycle grabbed a girl while she was out walking with her mum, I chased him but he got away.

how should the public react?
They should come forward and DO SOMETHING in whatever little way they can. Anything but they shouldnt just stand and watch. That makes them equally guilty by not doing anything.

2008-08-24T08:01:00.000-07:00

Akanksha

Yes i have experienced. No i wasn't supported by the public. Neither did they help, nor did they approach.

A college fest, and guys[other college] luring around passing disgusting comments on this group of girls i am in, on a particular gal, and keep staring at the wrong place. I didnt understand the comment coz i don't understand the language; but from what i gathered from the girls it was offending; so i turn around and face the guys and blast them. Give an equal stare for the stare that was hitting us. And i shouted louder with harsher comments that would make people hear who ever wasn't hearing. All of us [girls] then faced the guys and we stared back, till those bunch of 4-5 guys left the place.

Yes i made a scene, but public behaved oblivious to the whole situation. [The sexual harassment happening in the mumbai water park, so the public who were acting oblivious were taking their own chances underwater as the offender]. My cousin[female] who was accompanying along asked me not to tell my mom about it. Felt bad, angry, guilty[of being a woman], astonished, and unable to do or think anything for some 30-45 mins; and eventually my reaction being,i never go to water parks anymore.

How should the public react?
By screwing the offender verbally, and helping in handing him over to the nearest security guys. And lambasting the guy. Least acting as a support when we ourselves screw the offender, and not smile around or stare and gather as if some tamaasha going on if they aren't bothered to care about it

2008-08-21T15:35:00.000-07:00

Anshika Varma

I am a Delhi based photographer and recently experienced an incident that might not necessarily fall under the regular norm of gender harassment but it was something that i felt needed to be shared. I had gone to a weekly bazaar to shoot the general ambiance of a market space and was threatened and yelled at by the "president of the market association" to not shoot.once i agreed to that, he demanded that i delete every single picture on my camera or he would call the cops on me. I tried to ask him why and was then only given long and idsapproving looks and comments by a group of men, who had by now gathered around us, talking about how women tend to go beyond their limits when they start working! He did call the cops who then managed to sort the matter out but needless to say there was enough of a hullabaloo created on the matter. When a resident (who belonged to a national news channel) tried to come to my rescue and said that they couldn't hold me back waiting for a cop on pretext of a few photographs, they abused and slapped him to make him go away. Their constant request was that i delete all my pictures and leave the place immediately. The cop who came was a friend of theirs (i assume from the way they greeted each other) and was dressed in civilian clothing. He asked me for my address and contact no and wanted to know why i was shooting in the market. I gave him the necessary details and told him that i was aware i was not defying any law by shooting the marketspace. From what i know, one only needs to give in their personal details to a cop in case of an FIR but i am not sure of the same. He then also told me that photography was prohibited in the area although there was no sign that said the same. I could very well sense the discomfort of these men when i told them that i had complete rights to photograph on the street as long as the people i shoot had no issues with it. For the same reason i had not taken any photographs of the mentioned "President". It was an unnecessarily exaggerated situation and at some level i realized that i was being harassed.

Have you ever experienced street sexual harassment and made a scene and not have the public support you?

In the above situation, one person did come to help me but no one had dared to support him or try to talk to the President of the market association.

How would you like the public to show support when you experience street sexual harassment?

I think any perpetrator should be hounded by people around the place where the incident takes place. He should be made to apologize and most definitely made to serve an overnight period in a local police station.

2008-08-19T00:55:00.000-07:00

Jaz

I am not sure if I have been a spectator to street sexual harassment. I have ignored. I am one of those scared kittens in mittens still not found my claws.

I believe that the earlier experiences of the 'covering up' ritual at home and school seemed to me like eve teasing and very embarrassing.I was certainly not supported by the 'elders' for clothes I wanted. If I do go out on the street daring to wear what I want all prophesies come true. for example on the 17th of August 2008, A day after Rakshabandhan! I was returning from Shirdi in a bus.I had felt my hair on my neck bristle as I could feel the stares following me as I brushed my teeth and jostled with luggage on the bus. As I sat reading,imaging the discworld as described in Guards! Guards! a certain hand was encroaching on my hand from the side of the window.My immediate reaction was(denial) that maybe the person behind me had fallen asleep.I saw the hand slither back acknowledging my knowing.I didn't know what to do!yell,call the conductor who would grin at me? most people were dozing on the bus.Raise a ruckus to have the guy deny he did anything. I waited for us to cross the Baroda expressway. I tried to continue reading the book,in vain. All my doubts were put away when I could hear a drumming on the back of my seat. At that moment thankfully I felt I had nothing to loose and shut my book and stood in my chair.The stories I had read at Blank noise came rushing.I addressed the guy loudly enough to wake up the bus,'Bhaiya apko bus mein bhetna nahi aata? apne haath apne paas rakho ya peeche ja ke betho Or should I call the conductor.'(Brother don't you know how to sit in a bus? and keep your hands to yourself or go and sit away') The lady next to me woke up.The guy shook his head in denial. Having said what came to me then in a straight voice I didn't know how to reach out and slap the guy.
There were many 'brothers' and 'sisters' sitting beside me, behind me, ahead of me,right in front of me, lying in their cloister groups.The guy got off at the next station and he is going to do it again when he gets a chance.Very soon. And it makes me Angry.

2008-08-18T14:23:00.000-07:00

Rani Kamal
I was passing by a busy street in kolkata,window shopping when i suddenly saw a driver sitting in the front seat,with a three year old girl child .Now what he was trying to do did not really look normal to me. The windowpanes of the car were locked too.
A gut feeling stooped me and i asked the driver where the child's mother was and he pointed at a store just beside the car park that she was inside shopping.
So i went inside and informed the mother that she should immediately get back to her daughter coz the driver was trying to sexually abuse her daughter on the street inside the car. what made me do this its an reaction,which if ignored woudld be unethical and also giving a platform to more of these kind of incidents which get buried under deep sighs of silence

I would like the public to cooperate and help the victim instead of being a silent passerby.This will nip the problem in the bud.Since the attitude of the public has not been on the lines of coperation, this has led to aggravation of street sexual harrasment.It should not be two people in a crowd of ten co operating but all the ten should take a common stand.

2008-08-18T14:14:00.000-07:00

Ritambhara

I did'nt exactly witness harassment. But once while traveling a man sat next to me and started touching me, I gathered enough courage to get up from there and asked the girls standing not to sit with "this pervert".

Have you ever experienced street sexual harassment or 'eve teasing' and been supported by the public? Did they help? or show support? if yes, in what way?

Not exactly by the public but a friend accompanying me. He was the only "friend" who did something about the situation.

Have you ever experienced street sexual harassment and made a scene and not have the public support you?

By maintaining silence!Not speaking up.
Someone from the group said "hota hai"

How would you like the public to show support when you experience street sexual harassment?

I am certainly not expecting the public to take up arms against perpetrator but the least they can do is to not say "beta hota hai". It's pure nonsense and invalidates your entire experience. The last time something happened was in a night bus and when I created a "scene" I expected the conductor to do something maybe just ask that moron to get off the bus!

2008-08-16T09:43:00.001-07:00

Kolkata

I have seen alot of eve teasing in front of colleges that young men do with young women. I have seen them pass comments on young women.
I have seen several women stay quiet and walk away. I have seen women react and protest. Sometimes I have also intervened and gotten involved
in the situation. Sometimes I have been able to protect and sometimes I have not.

I was on a train from Sealdah to Kollani. Some college girls got onto the train and some college boys also got onto the train. The boys kept saying
bad things to the girls. They boys were about 3 or 4 in number and there were 2 girls. I went in there and said , " why are you saying these things?"
The boys reacted and were rude to me. They asked " are these girls your sisters?"

I asked them to shift the way the were looking at the situation. Speak to them if you like but dont do something that will cause harm to another human being.
Once I said this others in the train supported me and the matter ended there.

2008-08-15T10:02:00.000-07:00

This goes back to 2003. I was walking down MG road..experiencing the city through a 5 kilometre walk. It was interrupted of course by several glares, stalkers etc...the usual.
I saw a group of people waiting to cross the street. There was a family and 2 more men- who to my knowledge were part of the family. A little girl was part of the family- she must have been about 7 years old. She was holding her mother's hand and stood behind her mother. One of the men kept trying to reach her and then he pulled her cheeks. She tried to move away on the other side of her mother. the two men went away laughing. What did they do? I dont know...literally just pulled her cheeks? What did she do? She just hid behind her mother.

I saw them laughing out loud and walking ahead. I saw the girl hurriedly crossing the road with her mother.

She looked scared. I wanted to tell her mother but I wasnt sure of what I saw. It did not feel right....and the tone of their laughter did not either. I was a spectator to something vague, to something that felt wrong without me being able to define it. It is something that has stayed on my mind...all through the years..nothing 'severe' in comparison to your range of sexual violence or any violence but something that was experienced with fear on one end and amusement on the other.

As a witness I feel guilty for not having done anything. I am not sure what I should have done. Whether what I saw was my interpretation or just what it was in front of me.

2008-08-15T09:55:00.000-07:00

Jasmine

I feel a little less angry when I recall because I have been thinking and this happened 6 years ago. This is not to say that I do not feel confused every time I recall.

I still feel let down by the people who spectated. I was walking down CMH road, on an early evening, happy and lost in my thoughts when all of a sudden I was made to realize a hand grabbing my breast. I dont know what got into me but that very instant I turned around screaming..." stop wait!!" and was walking faster towards the two men who were beginning to walk away even faster.

It was getting dark and I do not recall their faces. The kept signaling towards me as they walked off saying that I was mad and drunk.

A row of auto rickshaw drivers sat there. watching.

Before I could ask them to even help, one responded in the most calm manner..." he ran away...woh bhaag gaya."

That day I was shocked, horrified not just at the fact that I had been assaulted but also because the witnesses became spectators for drama.

Did they not help me because I did not speak the local language? Was I too foreign for them to understand? or empathize with? Or did they just see a crazy woman screaming?

I don't understand indifference.

2008-08-15T09:12:00.000-07:00

Holly

"I’m not much of a confrontational person and it’s something I’m working on but there was one time I almost did say something. I was on the Washington, DC metro (I live in the DC area and take it to/from work etc) on a weekend and it was crowded and there were two young women standing near me dressed to impress and on my other side were a bunch of young men pointing and whispering crude things about the women. The women had their backs to the men and seemed oblivious of what was happening and that is what kept me from intervening. I think if the women had noticed I might have intervened. However, I wish I had anyway because they were being extremely crude and just talking about the women like they only consisted of body parts etc."

2008-08-15T08:28:00.001-07:00

I have seen loads of eve teasing in my life. The girls in Ludhiana are very bold. They do not take it and they answer back properly.

I saw a girl who had been teased by a boy. She created a scene. She gathered a crowd. She hit him hard and then she put water in her shoes and made him drink it. She said " drink water from my shoes and only then I will spare you."

Participant's name is unknown. He runs a dress material shop in Model Town Market, Ludhiana, Punjab.

Papiya

2008-08-14T10:41:00.001-07:00

I heard a woman screaming loudly from a taxi passing by. I went and told the nearest police officer. I do not know what happened later but I know the police took it on.

2008-08-12T21:38:00.000-07:00

Just Another Mommy

My school was a short 10 min walk from my house with a big bus terminus on the way. I’d been groped every now and then when I was going to school. I would never be able to spot the perpetrators, since they’d melt into the crowds. I would just panic and hasten my pace and rush home/school.

One day, when I was about 15 years old, I was going to school with my sister. She was 11 years old at the time and had just moved to my school from her elementary school. When we neared the school, a guy came behind us and groped me. I just grabbed my sister’s hand and hastened my pace. He then groped my sister, who didn’t even understand what happened and gave a huge yelp. That’s when I saw red - I grabbed my lunch basket (Thank God my mom packed a heavy lunch!) and with all my might brought it down on the guy’s back. After that we just ran into the school since we had approached the gates by then.

I saw the guy cross the road and hasten his pace while he walked away. I didn’t feel special/courageous - I was just terrified the entire day wondering if he’d come back with friends and harass us further when we returned home. I told my friends the incident and all the girls who usually walked to school agreed to accompany us when we returned home. I was so grateful to them. I think he was a coward like most perps are, so we didn’t see him again in the evening.
I wish I had the courage/strength to break a bone. Then he might think again before putting his filthy hand on another little girl!

2008-08-11T02:02:00.000-07:00

Nirmal Kaur

I was walking to the gurudwara early morning.. One boy was dragging a girl forcing her to come on the motor bike. I think they worked at night and were returning home. The boy insisted that the she come with him. I was observing and walking past. I passed a shiv mandir/temple and it struck me that I should go help that girl.

I went in and said "what is the problem?"
The boy asked me to mind my own business.

" Let me talk to this girl if she wants to go with you then I have no problem. If she doesnt want to go then i will not let her go".
The girl said that she does not want to go.

I shouted at him. His friends also said that he should let her go.

I told him that I would call the police.

My mobile was ready with the cop thana no.

He asked me what my objection was. I said there are 4 boys and 1 girl and I have been seeing this react. I said " will you leave her or not?! "

He asked me what relation I had with the girl to interfere. I said " human being"

Finally he let go off her hand. The girl went off with another boy. I got scared thinking that now the boys might attack me. I hopped into a taxi and went to the gurudwara. This was a huge experience for me.

--

2008-08-10T08:20:00.000-07:00

Smriti Chanchani

Today at 4:43pm
To the boys who pretended that they didn't see...

This is something that happened a very long time ago but has stuck in my memory as one time, when i have felt most, vulnerable & afraid.

I was 9 yrs old & had a holiday - my amma and i decided to catch an afternoon show at Galaxy cinema hall, i loved going there because they had a spiral staircase with a lovely velvet red carpet. We were a little late and walked into the theater after the lights had gone out. My Ma went to find us seats while i waited on the side. A group of 6-7 boys walked in behind us.

Before i knew it the film screen was hidden and i was surrounded by 7 boys towering around me - many of them took turns to put their finger inside me. I stood frozen until i finally jerked and pushed myself out of the crowd. Some of the boys in that group did nothing but watch.
I sat and watched the film in silence next to my mother. I had worn a pretty white t-shirt and black skirt with blue flowers that day.

2008-08-10T06:34:00.001-07:00

Cee Kay
http://my2centstoo.blogspot.com

Friday, August 08, 2008
Letter to a spectator
Dear "Uncleji",
You didn't say anything that day on the train, when I slapped that boy because he had been caressing me, touching me and lifting my skirt while I was sleeping. You even looked the other way when I slapped him and yelled at him. You pretended you hadn't heard me. You probably even smirked at me when I sat scared on my berth that he was going to come back with his friends and drag me off the train.
Probably you don't have a mother or a sister at home. Or even a daughter. Or, maybe you do, and you have trained them to keep quiet and not draw any attention to themselves. Maybe they don't even dress "that way" and hence don't go asking for trouble.
Kudos to you, uncleji, for doing such a great job!
Thank you for not speaking up for me that day. That taught me a few lessons. I learnt not to rely on people around me for help. I learnt to be extra careful while traveling on public transport. Most important of all, I learnt how not be.
Sincerely,
Cee

2008-08-10T06:33:00.002-07:00

Kismet Nakai

I have alot of stories and Im havng a tough time decidin which one to start with. I think it's going to be the time I tried intervening but my anger blurred my common sense and the perv got away.

So, I'm on my way back from the gym- its about 7 in the evening and its rush hour so there are lots of cars/cycles/ people/animals-the works. You can get my point , I think.Chandigarh is a small town but its really getting over-populated (but thats another story.) Anyway, so I'm taking my usual route home and my sixth sense (which alot of us have thanks to the many million lecherous men we deal with every day) picks up on a guy riding his cycle infront of my car. He looks nervous and fidgety and his behaviour is just odd. I'm watching him closely and just when I'm about to turn - I see him suddenly speed up, race ahead of this girl and her mother who are walking, turn around -grab her boob and make a mad dash to get away from the scene. Nobody notices, other than the girl and the mother- I mean who would? Its rush hour and people don't have the time or the motivation to look around. But, I saw him. And my blood boiled. It could've me and my mother or my little niece and her mum- it could've been anyone I know. And we wouldve been helpless while the pervie cycle boy got away with it. I call him a boy cos he couldn't be older than 17 yrs old!!

I decided that he needed a slap- so I didn't turn- I sped after him. I apologise to the people I might've knocked over, I was driving in a rage and when that happens-red is the only colour i see! I drive up next to pervie cycle boy who looks at me and realises- he's been busted. Someone saw him-worse still, someone is CHASING him. It was at that point that I didnt know what to do- should I knock him over with my car? A slight bump so he falls off and I can jump out of the car and pounce on him? Or should I chase him till he tires? I didnt really know so when he turned into a quiet part of the sector, I did too. This is when he outsmarts me. He got off his cycle, shitting bricks he was, I could see that in his eyes. I stopped the car and decided to jump out! Why did I do that??? He turns his cycle around and jumps on, cycling like mad in the opposite direction. And there I am, half in my car - half on the road watching him as he disappears into a dark alley. I'm not a very skilled driver and by the time I would've u-turned in the narrow road, pervie cycle boy would be long gone. ARGH! My frustration. But I saw him squirm, I saw him nearly die of a heart attack when he realised I was following him and I am pretty sure he wont do it again. I can hope at least.

2008-08-10T06:33:00.001-07:00

rhea data
www.beadysea.blogspot.com

The ride back home from school comprised an auto ride which we got to enjoy after standing in a queue for almost half an hour under the cruel Kolkata sun.After one such wait,my friend (who is also a neighbour)and i finally sighted an auto which had only one seat lying vacant at the back.Refusing to wait in the sun any further,my friend decided to sit in the seat next to the driver (to his left) as i sat in that one vacant seat at the back.Half way through the journey,i heard my friend asking the driver to keep his hands off her-to which he said,"brake lagatey gele ektu to gaye lagbei" (which roughly means,"if i have to apply brakes,there is bound to be some physical contact")Believing it to be a mere accident,i didn't really pay much heed to the incident, until i saw the driver's hand brushing up against her chest-Once.Twice.Thrice. (This was when the auto was in motion and there wasn't any applying of brakes)Somehow the only thing i could do after that was,to ask the auto to stop and get down along with my friend,even though we were still far from home...So there we were,on the road again-roasting under the afternoon sun,walking silently down the road.as silent as i was in the auto,as silent as i shouldn't have been.

2008-08-10T06:32:00.000-07:00

Anubhav Pradhan
http://ap-city-of-dijns.blogspot.com/

Anyways, my story concerns something which happened today. I was coming back home in a bus and just as I put off my Mp3 player, I over-heard a conversation between a school boy sitting next to me and his college going friend standing besides the seat (I was next to the window). The boy asked (this is the difficult part because I'm going to try and reproduce the original colloquial dialect in English) 'Ke kar raha hai' to which the college fellow said 'X-ray lai raha hoon'.

This incongrous observation startled me and I turned around (I usually look out of the window whenever I'm in the bus, the inside is not all that appealing...) to see what he meant by that when I saw the duo staring hard at the back of a presumably college going girl wearing a white, sleeveless kurti-sort-of-top and sitting a few seats ahead on the opposite, Ladies row. The material was slightly diaphanous and with sweat making it moist, the straps of her bra were easily discernible. I looked back at the collegiate and saw on his face an expression of what could only have been lust. As I once turned my head to look out of the window, I heard the school boy say 'Maane bhi sikha de ye X-ray lena', to which the collegiate knowingly said 'Abhi tu baacha hai, college main aane par waqt sab sikha dega'. Not wanting to be a party to their conversation, I once again put on my Mp3 player...

I suppose this doesn't fit into the usual definition of harassment simply because the intended victim did not even get to know of it. Even if she did hear those two, she sure did not acknowledge the fact and just sat there calmly, ignoring their amorous observations. The long and short of it all is that I ended up feeling disgusted with humanity at large as also a little disapponited with my own self for not doing anything to tackle the problem at hand. I say 'a little' because that is exactly what I feel- after all, if the person towards whom the so-called attack was being directed remained (or chose to be) ignorant of it, then what right had I to raise hell by arguing with the so-called perpetrators. I am no knight in shinning armour, I have not vowed to protect damsels in distress...why then should I have risked my well being and that too in a case when nothing tangibly perceptible was happening?

This, of course, leads us to another gender issue, of men being regarded by default as protectors. But this is not the forum to go into that...

Spectator Special!

2008-08-08T06:42:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who has emailed in their contributions. We'll continue to post these as they come in. Remember, the deadline is Aug. 15!

***
Chandrashekhar Bhattacharyya
Time: 22.00 hours
Place South extension part1, New Delhi
Spring 2008

I was at south ex fr dinner with friends. After then meal we went out for ice creams. Now, for people to know, South ex has a sizable population of women living as paying guests. While walking down the road I see a an official govt car with a blue light stop near a 'momo-wala'. I happened to identify the car belonging to a law enforcement agency. They were not local cops but a notch higher than them. There were two men in the car who stopped for some freebies (as it came to light later on they did not pay for the 3plates of chicken momos) from the poor momo vendor. From a distance one could make out they were drinking sitting inside their car. A group of 3-4 girls were passing by, and seeing them, these 'so-called' protectors of the law started passing comments about their looks and where they hailed from. One of them even whistled.
Even though their actions cannot be termed of a very serious nature yet, their action was unbecomingly of law enforcers and protectors of law. At that moment I felt a blood rush and couldn't contain myself. I was stopped from doing anything drastic by my friend. For it was known to both of us that these guys were armed. They always are. I somehow managed to calm myself from going up to them and getting them to apologies for their atrocious behavior towards those girls. Harassment or no harassment. These cops had no right to whistle and pass comments against these girls or for that matter anyone.
Between armed and unarmed, a cop and a civilian. At that point I felt helpless. But I had weapon. A camera phone. Knowing how the enforcers operate. A picture of the number plate was enough to nail the culprits.

That is what I did. Instinctively. Nobody asked me to. But I felt I had to do something. My small bit. Its my personal belief, that a society will prosper if the women our looked after. For it's a women who gives birth to a man. As I write this the men involved in whistling and passing comments that night are under suspension on charges other than eve-teasing. For reasons beyond my control I could only prove that they were misusing their official vehicle...

Blank Noise Spectators Special

2008-08-02T04:28:00.000-07:00

Blank Noise Spectators Special is an online event (July 27th until August 15th- 2008) that invites the third person in the public to comment on their role as a spectator- to street sexual harassment.

The public on the street comprises of those who experience street sexual harassment, i.e. the survivors; those who cause street sexual harassment i.e the perpetrators and those who witness street sexual harassment i.e the spectators.

Our very own stat counter on the right hand bar of the page says that 22% of the Blank Noise blog visitors are spectators. Now its your turn to speak!

Most cases of street sexual violence go unnoticed because they are intangible , can be doubted as 'accidental brush/ touch' ( strictly in the Indian context). More often than not the survivor feels embarrassment and shame for being sexually violated and does not wish to draw further attention. Some survivors of street sexual violence don't seek public support because of the fear that 'the public' may not always show support, act indifferent, or be one more face in the crowd watching the scene.

Blank Noise Spectators Special asks members of the public, both men and women to share what they witnessed.

Step 1:

To participate in this event please email us at blurtblanknoise at gmail dot com subject titled Blank Noise Spectators Special.
Announce this event on your blog to let your blog readers know about it and also participate. eg: http://beadysea.blogspot.com/2008/07/to-do.html
Do email us your announcement link and we will add you to the list of participants.

IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A BLOG: NO PROBLEM. YOU CAN STILL PARTICIPATE
What matters is your point of view. Email us confirming your participation. blurtblanknoise @gmail.com

Step 2:

After confirmation:

Write down your experience of being a third person, a witness to someone else experiencing street sexual harassment. What did you do? or not do? What did you feel? Any after thoughts?
What was your first reaction? Was it to intervene? Was it to ignore? What did you do?
What would you rather have done? If you have been a 'special spectator' , that is, intervened in the situation, please tell us how! Was it with wit and humor? Or did physically assault the 'perpetrator'? Did you walk away? Or call the cops? Or gather a crowd? Or see another spectator take charge of the situation and participate in any way. OR
write about your experiences with people who saw you getting harassed on the street. did they help you? did they ignore you? you could write a note to the spectator of street sexual harassment.
Once you have written written out your thoughts on spectators/ witnesses or on being one please email us what you have written. If you have a blog, you could publish it on your blog and email us the blog post link. eg: http://beadysea.blogspot.com/2008/07/my-bit.html

Deadline for your post on being a spectator is August 15th. List of confirmed names is below:

Kshipra

Kis Nakai( Kis does not have a blog to publish the Spectators Special. Her text will be published on the Blank Noise Blog on Aug 15)

Suparna Kudesia
Kshipra

Kis Nakai( Kis does not have a blog to publish the Spectators Special. Her text will be published on the Blank Noise Blog on Aug 15)

Suparna Kudesia

Ritambhara Mehta

Secondwaver

Madhu Agarwal

Saptarshi at urinnersmile

Chandrashekhar Bhattacharya

Anubhav Pradhan

Amrutha Bushan

Suzanne

Rikimi Madhukaillya

Smriti Chanchani

Sarah Khan

Abhishek Baxi

Dale Copley

Trishima Mitra Kahn

Aparna Hajnis

Natasha Hemrajani

Kabir Sarin

Anant Shukla

Jasmeen Patheja

Shaji Krishnan

Varna Shri Raman

Jamie Finlay

Aparajita Sharma

Joann Canning

Fahd Hussein

Anshika Varma

Amit Vardhan

Amandeep Kaur

Ishwinder Jauhar

Preeti Mangla Shekhar

Nitin Sarin

Vivek Kakkar

Beady Sea

Holly K- Stop Street harassment

Ritambhara Mehta

Secondwaver

Madhu Agarwal

Saptarshi at urinnersmile

Chandrashekhar Bhattacharya

Anubhav Pradhan

Amrutha Bushan

Suzanne

Rikimi Madhukaillya

Smriti Chanchani

Sarah Khan

Abhishek Baxi

Dale Copley

Trishima Mitra Kahn

Aparna Hajnis

Natasha Hemrajani

Kabir Sarin

Anant Shukla

Jasmeen Patheja

Shaji Krishnan

Varna Shri Raman

Jamie Finlay

Aparajita Sharma

Joann Canning

Fahd Hussein

Anshika Varma

Amit Vardhan

Amandeep Kaur

Ishwinder Jauhar

Preeti Mangla Shekhar

Nitin Sarin

Vivek Kakkar

Beady Sea

Holly K- Stop Street harassment

This event hopes to be one in the series of events planned in bringing together 'survivors'(http://blanknoiseactionheroes.blogspot.com), 'perpetrators' (male only event coming soon) and 'spectators'.