Blank Noise Spectators

Jaz

I am not sure if I have been a spectator to street sexual harassment. I have ignored. I am one of those scared kittens in mittens still not found my claws.

I believe that the earlier experiences of the 'covering up' ritual at home and school seemed to me like eve teasing and very embarrassing.I was certainly not supported by the 'elders' for clothes I wanted. If I do go out on the street daring to wear what I want all prophesies come true. for example on the 17th of August 2008, A day after Rakshabandhan! I was returning from Shirdi in a bus.I had felt my hair on my neck bristle as I could feel the stares following me as I brushed my teeth and jostled with luggage on the bus. As I sat reading,imaging the discworld as described in Guards! Guards! a certain hand was encroaching on my hand from the side of the window.My immediate reaction was(denial) that maybe the person behind me had fallen asleep.I saw the hand slither back acknowledging my knowing.I didn't know what to do!yell,call the conductor who would grin at me? most people were dozing on the bus.Raise a ruckus to have the guy deny he did anything. I waited for us to cross the Baroda expressway. I tried to continue reading the book,in vain. All my doubts were put away when I could hear a drumming on the back of my seat. At that moment thankfully I felt I had nothing to loose and shut my book and stood in my chair.The stories I had read at Blank noise came rushing.I addressed the guy loudly enough to wake up the bus,'Bhaiya apko bus mein bhetna nahi aata? apne haath apne paas rakho ya peeche ja ke betho Or should I call the conductor.'(Brother don't you know how to sit in a bus? and keep your hands to yourself or go and sit away') The lady next to me woke up.The guy shook his head in denial. Having said what came to me then in a straight voice I didn't know how to reach out and slap the guy.
There were many 'brothers' and 'sisters' sitting beside me, behind me, ahead of me,right in front of me, lying in their cloister groups.The guy got off at the next station and he is going to do it again when he gets a chance.Very soon. And it makes me Angry.